Still standing

 

Handmade taggy for a new baby in
my neighborhood—plus the all-important book

I’m so far from being in a state of flow on anything I’m trying to do at the moment. The combination of having been sick for the last couple of weeks and the daily onslaught of horrors makes it almost impossible to focus, and makes focusing on any one thing seem pointless. What difference does it make to help out a neighbor with snow removal? To donate a few dollars to a mutual aid fund in Minneapolis or Maine? To make a good dinner out of leftovers so they don’t go to waste? To put my hand up to do volunteer work? To edit a piece of academic research that only a handful of people will ever read? To sew a present for someone instead of just buying a cheap plastic thing online? To stand here on my little soapbox and say, “No! No! No!”

And yet I continue to believe that these things do matter, even when they seem like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. I remind myself that these are not new problems we are facing. I reiterate the importance of “know[ing] what you stand for and what you think is good.” I practice thinking of myself as part of a team. And I seek the courage to keep doing the next right thing, which is often to not succumb to the easy, apathizing lure of despair. I have not been called upon to display the kind of courage I see in the news every day—but I remain responsible for doing what I can. And, as a fellow blogger said, one thing I do know how to do is feed people:

Food for All Services - Maine

StandwithMinnesota.com

Progress, not perfection

 

The table runner that I used to teach myself three different quilting methods;
it is full of mistakes and makes me happy every time I look at it

The number of tasks I aspire to get done every day may be objectively ridiculous. I don’t know, and one of the things I have struggled with throughout my life is feeling as though I’m not doing enough, no matter how much I do. Also that I don’t have enough time, even on days where I have no commitments and 16 unfettered hours stretch out before me. If I spend too long on any one thing (hyperfocusing), I start to get anxious that I’m falling behind on something else.

To combat this, I’ve developed a lot of routines that involve spending 10-15 minutes focusing on a bunch of different things (microtasking). This is usually pretty effective; I may not finish whatever task I’ve allocated to that small chunk of time, but I will at least move it forward. And it’s an ongoing surprise to me how many things I can substantively complete in a focused 10-minute session.

This method is a helpful way for me to circumvent procrastination (I’ll just do 10 minutes on that thing I don’t really want to do) and decision paralysis (I don’t have to prioritize one thing, I can focus in turn on each of these things that seem equally important). It also helps me get past my own perfectionist expectations, and focus on the process rather than the rush to get it done. Even I recognize that the chances I can turn out a finished product of any kind are slim to none. But I can get one step or one seam or one sentence done. And if, horror of horrors, I do make a mistake, I can step away, focus on something else, and fix it in the next session.

Sometimes I get frustrated by microtasking, because I feel like my progress in any given area is so slow. But occasionally I get a tangible reminder that little by little, the steps, seams, sentences, sessions do add up (see above).

This is a useful analogy for any area of life, especially the ones where results might not be so material (no pun intended). The important thing, I am learning one day at a time, is to keep going, keep learning, keep doing and making.

September vibes

 

Miss B came home for a visit for the last part of August, and went back over Labor Day weekend to start her third (!) year of university. (The cat does not approve of this arrangement.) DP’s semester got underway in mid-August, but Miss B's exit, plus changing the calendar to September, makes the back to school/impending fall vibes inescapable for me. The temperatures here have cooled off enough to leave the windows open during the day, and maybe even pull on a blanket at night. The other morning I woke up wondering why I didn’t have a comfortable chair in my room. So I pulled this one out of the basement, moved it upstairs, and embellished it with some me-made comforts. An instant life upgrade using what I had available; an ongoing encouragement to use limitations to spur creative problem solving, and to take regular breaks from the daily onslaught.