Making things

Unquestionably frivolous—but also
a provider of great satisfaction and joy

“‘In a time of destruction, create something.’ To be creative is to push back, again and again, against despair, complacency, and cruelty.” - Maxine Hong Kingston, quoted by Maggie Smith in Creative Fuel by Ana Brones

When I started blogging nearly 17 years ago, it was to build a creative outlet for myself and to document my life as an American immigrant to Australia, experiencing life in a new, faraway country with my husband and then four-year-old daughter. At that point, my other primary creative outlet was cooking and baking—practical and satisfying, if ephemeral. 

Since then, my family and the blog have been through three more international moves, returning to the US seven years ago, into an era of political volatility that has only intensified. My own daily life is also much different: I’m now the mother of a young adult, attending university in another country; and my primary creative focus has shifted from food to fabric. I feel the desire to make things with my hands more than ever, but these days I get more satisfaction out of making things that are more enduring. I still love to make and eat good food, but I do it more on autopilot these days as I apply my brain to learn new skills using stitching. 

I’ve really struggled with blogging over the past few years, feeling as though talking about my life of relative privilege and freedom to focus on creative endeavors is tone-deaf and irresponsible in the face of the hardship and horror that so many people are experiencing every day. And how to navigate the fact that everything about food, about crafting, about domestic life, is simultaneously fundamentally political and an escape from politics. 

I find myself increasingly impatient with internet content that is purely focused on escape, that takes little or no notice of the realities that we in the US—and by extension the rest of the world—are currently navigating. Being able to focus on baking bread and stitching pillows is unquestionably a marker of privilege—and even more so than usual in this moment. And it can feel frivolous given the state of things. But I continue to think it is important. Every decision that I make about how and where I spend my money—and my time—is a political decision. And I feel strongly that putting my time and money and energy into endeavors that support local enterprises and communities over multinational corporations is political—and so is finding joy and self-actualization. There’s a hustle mentality component to activism along with everything else that appears on the internet; but that’s just another exhortation to set myself on fire to keep other people warm. I can’t change the world by myself, and I can’t work with other people if I’m too burned out and exhausted to leave the house. So I’m trying to embrace making things as resistance, and make time for them alongside more conventional resistance activities. I have been paralyzed by feeling I need to demonstrate that what I’m doing to live my values, or how I’m doing it, is ‘enough’ or ‘good enough’—but I’m going to try to continue to resist that idea as well, and re-integrate this blog among the things I make with my hands.

News roundup

Thank you for your patience while I took *checks notes* eleven months to post an update. I’ll try to keep it informative without becoming voluminous.

The Thames at sunset, Midsummer Day

Family About a week after Miss B’s graduation last June, we set off for a four-week trip overseas, with stops in England, France, Germany, and Switzerland. We spent time with friends, absorbed loads of cultural and historical information, and had some stupendous meals. We also made trips to Boston (to visit family), and to New Jersey (for our annual beach trip). And at the end of summer, we made the most momentous trip of all - to deliver Miss B to the start of her next adventure, aka university. It’s still kind of mind-blowing to grasp being the parent of a university student, even now when her first year is finished. 

The Alps from Anzère, Switzerland

Work I think DP and I have adjusted well overall to our new phase of life. DP is busy with work as always, and made several work trips, including back to Canberra for the first time in five years. I’ve been able to continue to keep my work schedule more manageable and focus on a few projects that I find interesting and challenging, but which don’t take over my entire life. 

The beach at Cape May

Home We’ve been in Northern Virginia for almost six years, and will soon break our record for staying in one place. This is by far the longest we’ve lived in one house in one location, and it’s been such a relief to have that continuity. I feel as though I’m still learning my way around and finding things to do and places to go (COVID also put the brakes on this process in a big way), and I’m grateful that we’re set to stay here for the foreseeable future. This spring I had visits from the one niece who hadn’t been before, as well as my best friend from Boston, and those made me feel rooted in a new way. 

Domestic still life with snoozing cat

Avocations Changes to my work and parenting commitments have given me the opportunity to give some time and attention to creative interests that had been getting short shrift for a long time. I’m trying to make time every day for creative pursuits. I’m also reading, with my top priority my daily chapter of War & Peace for the yearlong ‘slow read’ I’m taking part in. I’m really enjoying it and I think I’m getting much more out of it than if I had tried to tackle it on my own.

A set of bowl cozies recently completed for a nibling birthday gift

Food Some changes here too, mainly that with a smaller household and other outlets for my interest in making things, I’m not spending as much time cooking as I used to. I still want delicious food and plenty of it, but I also want production to be straightforward and efficient. My priorities these days are veg-heavy meals that provide maximum impact for minimum effort. 

Imagine a tray of vegetables roasting in the oven while I learn strip-and-flip scrap quilting

So that’s the (extremely condensed) news update from here. I promise it won’t be another eleven months until the next one!

Graduation day

DP, Miss B, and I often joke that we’re “not a math family.” Words, rather than numbers, are our preferred medium, by a long way, to transmit information. So when DP suggested that I say a few words at Miss B’s graduation dinner, I was surprised to note that what kept coming into my mind were numbers. Those had more impact for me in capturing Miss B’s singular experience so far than any words I could corral onto paper. So here they are, documented for posterity.

26+3 Miss B’s gestational age when she made her unforeseen early entrance onto this plane of existence - at the very end of July, rather than her due date of early November.

590 That’s her birthweight, in grams; for those of you working in imperial, that’s 1 lb., 5 oz.

225 Days spent in hospital - about 7.5 months on the calendar, from the end of July 2004 to mid-march 2005.

When Miss B came home, her health was stable and her physical life and development became more typical in many ways (albeit on her own schedule). But her life experience continued to follow a road less traveled:

3 | 3 | 4 | 4 Miss B has lived in three countries on three continents, as well as in four US states. She also navigated four intercontinental moves between the ages of 3 and 13. 

(When we moved back to the US five years ago, I promised her that the next time she moved, it would be her decision. I’ve been able to keep that promise, and she has taken the decision to move again, to attend university. She will also be moving to her fourth country, but I’m grateful to say that she will be remaining on the same continent.)

10 | 7 In the course of all these moves, Miss B has also lived in 10 houses (or apartments), and attended seven schools - a metric that testifies to her resilience and adaptability.

For the final number that came to me, I tried to calculate the number of air miles that Miss B has logged. I gave up when I passed 100,000, and was not close to finishing.

Reflecting on these numbers brought me back to some words that I feel describe, at least somewhat adequately, the person she has always been and continues to become.

Intrepid

Creative

Curious

Passionate

Kind

Funny

Focused 

Brave

To Miss B: I offer you congratulations and admiration for all that you’ve learned and achieved as you complete this milestone and look to your next phase. I’m so glad that I’m your mother and riding this roller coaster with you. To me, you are first, last, and always - the mighty Miss B.