Small things

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has written in response to my last post, whether in the comments here or via other means. I greatly appreciate the kindness, sympathy, and offers of help--they make the whole situation feel a little bit less nightmarish.

We are all coping with this new state of affairs reasonably well, I think: making slow progress on dealing with the aftermath of the fire and, crucially, looking to the future to make some necessary changes to my parents’ living situation. Much of that is just writing down tasks on a list and then crossing them off as they are completed.

There is an emotional component, even to that; more than once I have found myself on the verge of tears as I dealt with some minor-seeming administrative detail, such as sending a Father’s Day card to a different address for the first time ever.

But thankfully, it is not all-encompassing. In the midst of coping with bureaucracy and grief, I can still put it aside for a while and focus on other things. I can enjoy other things. Even waist-deep in crisis mode in Boston, I could still be glad to see my family and spend time with them—share a birthday meal for my sister L., watch a Bruins playoff game, talk about nothing much as well as big issues. Now that I’m back here, I can be thankful for the fact that my parents are safe and that everything else that needs to be dealt with is, essentially, stuff. Stuff heavily freighted with memories and emotional value, yes—but still stuff. And yes, there is grief, too—but also the knowledge that the grief could have been so, so much worse.

In amongst all that, I am grateful that I can take a mental break from it now and again, and savor the small things that bring joy and satisfaction to everyday life. There have been other times in my life when I couldn’t do that, and I know what a difference it makes. Here are some of mine from today:

Admiring the last of the cake I made DP for Father’s Day: my first-ever attempt at a four-layer affair. Pretty pleased with the way it came out, both look- and tastewise. (Recipe here--double everything.)

Cracking open a batch of homemade vanilla extract that I started about three months ago, and starting a new one for use later in the year.

Using some of it in a new slow-cooker batch of Aunt Sue’s Groovy Granola, which I made the mistake of running out of about a week ago. I even had a little green assistant to keep an eye (or three) on things.

Eking out what might be the last of the farmers’ market strawberries, because I can’t bear to say goodbye just yet.

Tending to my burgeoning vegetable and herb garden. I believe I see pesto in my near future.

 I hope all is well in your worlds.